I'm 18 Years Old

A year ago, I'm 16, and now I'm 18. 2 years ago, I thought I'm 25.
A year ago, when the result come out, I thought the quiz is definitely make mistakes. I couldnt be 16, I'm too mature for that. Hell yeah! and I dont care what the quiz says, I know who I am.
Now, I took another quiz, and when the results come out, I start to wonder. Am I really 18?

Ok, now lets take a look. I'm a freak-imitatry-nerdy-bitchy-bookwormy-gloomy-silly-crazy gurl (if I can say that am a girl, since I'm so messy). I cant handle my own feeling, I cant think straight when I'm having problems, I neglect most of my responsibilities, worried too much yet had done nothing to stop any possible problems in the future, selfish-spoiled! bitch, had no future plan at all (well, used to have one at least), totally apatic (at least am not judgemental), God knows how lazy I am, I like to write but it seems that 4 years ago I lost my talent (if I ever had one), I do not go to the gym anymore, a control freak, somehow my boyfriend doesnt get the way I think *but I love him so much anyways for his great patient and understanding*, I lied alot, I dont express feeling well, easily traumatised, and alot more. Somehow, I cant mention my good parts. Maybe its because I dont have any.

From all the traits I've mentioned above, do I look like an 18 years old? No! I look like 15 years old. So, maybe its true if my boyfriend often said "Y act like a 15 years old cat!"

What Goes Around, Comes Around!

Wasting my time again. I woke up today and nothing is in my mind, not even my dream. Dont know what day is it today, but then I remembered that we're gonna watch Constantine later on. Its Thursday then. I smiled, my first smile is because of a movie. Why not, I've been waiting quite a while for this movie. Keanu look all pale and yet, georgous, like always.

Ok.. so I woke up. Feel like going back to bed and slept all my life away. News flash! cant do that. I cant even sleep 6 hours in a row, how can I sleep for eternity? Death is the only way, but again, death is not a good choise if y wanna stay away from misery. Once, I just want to stay coma for a year or two.. but then I thought, all that runaway thingy is all crap. Its just me being chickenshit. Like always.

Yups, now my undietable lazy ass is off the bed. Turn on my computer and do my daily rituals. Sign in the MSN, open my emails, friendster, and then checking some blogspot.
No one sign in yet, thats odd. My emails are no good either, just some test results tickledotcom send me. I got 77 for my sex IQ which is average. I thought I'll score more than that =p, since am so good at it, nyahahahahha! They deff make some mistakes *surely sure*

Picking up my already dry laundry. Make some dim sum for my very-late-almost-lunch breakfast. Yummy.. always luv this Ha Kau thingy. It is made 90% from the low-fat-low-calorie-low-everything small garnalen and 10% of bamboo powder, never heard of it bfore, but its sure damn tasty (not for too many people unfortunately). Ate 8 pieces and I've made myself full. Its great for diet too. 8 pieces for just 10?? calories and almost no fat!! Its the best food of all time!

At 6.15 we finally hit the road. It was 15 minutes late from my scheduled. I'm now in a very bad mood, as always if I didnt meet my deadline or the plan that I made. Ok, I'm a bit control freak, but what can I say, its a great movie and I wanna sit in a great seat. But he totally understand and we rushed to Muntplein. I am happy, tho we didnt get the "great" seat I wanted.

Sumthin happened, its just almost the same like when yer on a plane. The higher y get, it'll hurt y more when y fall. I jumped off a plane tonite. It was so high and y can imagine how hurt I was. I have to cry, I couldnt hold on anymore... So, I cried. I dont want to, but I cried anyway.. and ate a whole bunch of shoarma in the middle of the nite..

Please God, dont make me cry one more time, cause by all mean, I just cant take it no more.
What goes around comes around.
Who's to blame? No one actually. If there is any, that'll be me.

Stop Crying Your Heart Out - Oasis

Hold up
Hold on
Don't be scared
You'll never change what's been and gone
May your smile (may your smile)
Shine on (shine on)
Don't be scared (don't be scared)
Your destiny may keep you warm

Cause all of the stars
Are fading away
Just try not to worry
You'll see them some day
Take what you need
and be on your way
and stop crying your heart out

Get up (get up)
Come on (come on)
Why're you scared? (I'm not scared)
You'll never change what's been and gone

Cause all of the stars
Are fading away
Just try not to worry
You'll see them some day
Take what you need
and be on your way
and stop crying your heart out

Cause all of the stars
Are fading away
Just try not to worry
You'll see them some day
Just take what you need
and be on your way
and stop crying your heart out

We're all of us stars
We're fading away
Just try not to worry
You'll see us some day
Just take what you need
and be on your way
and stop crying your heart out
Stop crying your heart out (x3)

And sometimes I just wish so hard that I Were You, You.. and YOU!

Never get into love when you mean to break a heart
Never look into eyes when you mean to lie
Promise ARE MEANT TO BE KEPT!
Wishes are only meant to be fulfilled
Scars will never heal
Hearts are not meant to be played with
Lies are only meant to hurt
And sorry is nothing but a word.

. . .

And all nature wonder seems so dim...
When I am here, standing next to him...

Marvelous Things - Eisley

*blog nggak mutu ini akan semakin nggak mutu dan hanya akan diisi lagu2 dan ocehan2 yg nggak jelas =p... anyways.. lagu ini aku suka =D*

I woke the dawn
Saw horses growing out the lawn
Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh
I glimpsed a bat with butterfly wings
Oh what marvelous things
Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh

Dark nights hold tight
and sleep tight my baby
Morning light shall burst bright
and keep us here safely

I followed a rabbit
through rows of mermaids entwined shrubbery
Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh
Oh what marvelous things
But they are they are they are giving me the creeps

Dark nights hold tight
and sleep tight my baby
Morning light shall burst bright
and keep us here safely

Oh, lying in the sun
Everyday feeling all of the magic and might find the wonder
Dark nights hold tight
and sleep tight my baby
Morning light shall burst bright
and keep us here safely
Morning light shall burst bright
and keep us here safely
oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh
oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh
oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh
oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh
oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh
oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh
oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh
oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh

My Love Is - Diana Krall

My love, my love is a mountainside
So firm, so firm it can calm the tide
My love for you is a mountainside
It stands so firm it can calm the tide
That's why my love, my love is
A mountainside

My love, my love is an ocean's roar
So strong, so strong that I can't let you go
My love for you is an ocean's roar
It's grown so strong that I can't let you go
That's why my love, my love is
An ocean's roar

My love is longer than forever
And endless as the march of time
'Till ninety-nine years after never
In my heart you'll still be mine
Because my love
My love is a deep blue sea
So deep, so deep that I'll never be free

My love for you is a deep blue sea
It's grown so strong that I'll never be free
That's why my love, my love is
A deep blue sea

The Used

Cant get enough of 'em

Twinkle2 Little Star

Here I am.. in front of my computer again.. in the middle of the nite.
Cant bare laying awake in my bed, surrounded by the dark...

Open my window.. see the stars.. Huhms, got this fresh feeling that comforting.. I found solace...
Why? because I always remember. Someone.. once said to me...

Dia: Tau nggak berapa banyak bintang dilangit??
Aku: Banyak :D

Dia: Hihihih, iya.. tapi lebih banyak lagi yg nggak kelihatan. Masih ada 5 billion stars yg nggak kelihatan!! Bayangkan..
Aku: *membayangkan_sambil terkagum2* Whhaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...

Dia: Nah.. makanya.. kalo misalnya kamu lagi sedih, inget ya.. misalnya kamu takut sama apa yg akan datang, masa depan misalnya, karena nggak bisa kita prediksikan.. selalu inget, sama kaya bintang.. banyak diangkasa yg indah.. cuma karena lagi mendung aja.. atau mata kita nggak bisa ngelihatnya.. bukan berarti apa yg indah nggak ada didepan mata nunggu kita... Makanya, jangan takut.. :D
Aku: Huhms.. mulai sekarang, nggak :D!
Dia: Bagus...

*hihihihi, tapi sampe skarangpun, aku selalu takut akan ketidakpastian masa depan*

I'll Be - Edwin McCain

The strands in your eyes that color them wonderful
Stop me and steal my breath
And emeralds from mountains thrust towards the sky
Never revealing their depth
Tell me that we belong together
Dress it up with the trappings of love
I'll be captivated, I'll hang from your lips
Instead of the gallows of heartache that hang from above

I'll be your cryin' shoulder
I'll be love's suicide
I'll be better when I'm older
I'll be the greatest fan of your life

And rain falls angry on the tin roof
As we lie awake in my bed
You're my survival, you're my living proof
My love is alive and not dead
Tell me that we belong together
Dress it up with the trappings of love
I'll be captivated, I'll hang from your lips
Instead of the gallows of heartache that hang from above

I'll be your cryin' shoulder
I'll be love's suicide
I'll be better when I'm older
I'll be the greatest fan of your life

And I've dropped out, I've burned up
I fought my way back from the dead
Tuned in, turned on
Remembered the things that you said

I'll be your cryin' shoulder
I'll be love's suicide
I'll be better when I'm older
I'll be the greatest fan of your...
I'll be your cryin' shoulder
I'll be love's suicide
I'll be better when I'm older
I'll be the greatest fan of your life
The greatest fan of your life

*I promise.. I'll be..

. . .

"I am unwritten.. Cant read my mind.. I'm undefined"
"Im just beginning, the pen's in my hand, ending unplanned"

"I break tradition, sometimes my tries, are outside the lines"
"We've been conditioned to not make mistakes, but I can't live that way"